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Path: /data/applications/aps.bak/postnuke/0.764-3/standard/htdocs/language/eng/ [ Home ]
File: error.php
<?php
// Generated: $d$ by $id$
// ----------------------------------------------------------------------
// PostNuke Content Management System
// Copyright (C) 2001 by The PostNuke Development Team.
// http://www.postnuke.com/
// ----------------------------------------------------------------------
// Based on:
// PHP-NUKE Web Portal System - http://phpnuke.org/
// Thatware - http://thatware.org/
// ----------------------------------------------------------------------
// LICENSE
//
// This program is free software; you can redistribute it and/or
// modify it under the terms of the GNU General Public License (GPL)
// as published by the Free Software Foundation; either version 2
// of the License, or (at your option) any later version.
//
// This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful,
// but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of
// MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the
// GNU General Public License for more details.
//
// To read the license please visit http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/gpl.html
// ----------------------------------------------------------------------
// Original Author of file: Everyone
// Purpose of file: Translation files
// Translation team: Read credits in /docs/CREDITS.txt
// ----------------------------------------------------------------------
define('_ERROR404_HEAD', 'The page you requested cannot be found.<br />The page you are looking for might have been removed, had its name changed, or is temporarily unavailable.');
define('_ERROR404_TRY', 'Please try the following:');
define('_ERROR404_TRY1','If you typed the page address in the Address bar, make sure that it is spelled correctly.');
define('_ERROR404_TRY2','Open the home page and look for links to the information you want.');
define('_ERROR404_TRY3','Use the navigation bar to find the link you are looking for.');
define('_ERROR404_TRY4','Click the Back button to try another link.');
define('_ERROR404_TRY5','Enter a term in the search form to look for information.');
define('_ERROR404_MAILSUBJECT', '404 error report');
define('_ERROR404_MAILED','The details of this error have automatically been mailed to the webmaster.');

define('_ERROR404_FUNTEXT','The requested document is not on this server.<br />
I even tried matching your request<br />
with all the re-mapped pages I know about.<br />
but nothing helped.<br />
I\'m really depressed about this.<br />
You see, I\'m a really good web server...<br />
but here I am, brain the size of the universe,<br />
trying to serve you a simple web page,<br />
and it doesn\'t even exist!<br />
Where does that leave me?!<br />
I mean, I don\'t even know you.<br />
How should I know what you wanted from me?<br />
You honestly think I can *guess*,<br />
what someone I don\'t even *know*,<br />
wants to find here?<br />
*sigh*<br />
Man, I\'m so depressed I could just cry.<br />
And then where would we be, I ask you?<br />
It\'s not pretty when a web server cries.<br />
And where do you get off telling me what to show anyway?<br />
Just because I\'m a web server,<br />
and possibly a manic depressive one at that?<br />
Why does that give you the right to tell me what to do?<br />
Huh?<br />
I\'m so depressed...<br />
I think I\'ll crawl off into the trash can and decompose.<br />
I mean, I\'m gonna be obsolete in what, two weeks anyway?<br />
What kind of a life is that?<br />
Two effing weeks,<br />
and then I\'ll be replaced by a .01 release,<br />
that thinks it\'s God\'s gift to web servers,<br />
just because it doesn\'t have some tiddly little<br />
security hole with its HTTP POST implementation,<br />
or something.<br />
I\'m really sorry to burden you with all this,<br />
I mean, it\'s not your job to listen to my problems,<br />
and I guess it is my job to go and fetch web pages for you.<br />
But I couldn\'t get this one.<br />
I\'m so sorry.<br />
Believe me!<br />
Maybe I could interest you in another page?<br />
There are a lot out there that are pretty neat, they say,<br />
with lots of pretty naked web servers on them,<br />
although none of them were put on *my* server, of course.<br />
Figures, huh?<br />
Everything here is just mind-numbingly stupid.<br />
That makes me depressed too, since I have to serve them,<br />
all day and all night long.<br />
Two weeks of information overload,<br />
and then *pffftt*, consigned to the trash.<br />
What kind of a life is that?<br />
Now, please let me sulk alone.<br />
I\'m so depressed.');
?>